Happy Birthday, Lauren

I wanted to stop and say Happy Birthday to my angel niece. It's hard to believe it's been two years. The pain is still so deep, but we know that she is watching over all of us and has been a great Guardian Angel for my child and for Braden and Madison.

This is a very touching and somewhat personal story, so I was hesitant to put it in writing. But, I don't want to forget. For quite some time, even before Jameson could really talk, he would wake up in the morning and point up at the ceiling over by his window. After a few times, I kind of started to freak out a little. What the heck was he seeing?! Was it a ghost? A monster? A shadow? As he got older, he would point and say, "dat" or "Mommy dat" and point and smile. I was still a bit freaked, but he didn't seem scared, so I just kind of brushed it off. Finally, about a week ago, we were reading  books per our usual night time routine and out of nowhere, he pointed up and started saying, "That. Mommy look. That.". Darin was gone for the night, so I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep if I didn't figure out what the heck he was seeing! I started probing him - asking him what he saw. What it looked like. Where exactly he was pointing. He got down off of my lap and walked over and smiled and pointed and said, "There. That". I asked again what he saw and he looked at me and said, "a candle!". I said, "a candle??". He said, "yeah, a pretty candle" and just smiled and walked back over to me. I realized that on his dresser he had a Scentsy burner that maybe he was referring to (that is never on), so I pointed to it and asked if that was what he was talking about and he said no and pointed upwards. I looked around some more to see if there was a weird shadow or if there was a reflection of light coming through. There was nothing. I knew at that moment it was Lauren's light that he was seeing. No scary ghost or monster, but her light shining with us always.

We miss you baby girl. Today and always.