To My Sweet Little Boy

I am so very behind on my blog posts for you and Gwendolyn. I kept making the excuse that when you look back on these in the years to come, you will never know that I was behind. But, I am taking it upon myself to admit my blog negligence (ahh, that feels better already!). I am so behind because I am so busy with you and your sister. And, a full time job coupled with a newer side job. I just have zero time to spend on these blogs. I hate that. I loved doing the monthly posts, updates on exciting things, etc. I loved spending hours shuffling through pictures and videos and organizing them for each blog post. I loved sharing everything about how wonderful you are. I loved documenting everything so that I will never forget these moments.

But, life got in the way. And, I am OK with that. But, if I never do another post (which I will!), I want to get this in writing today while I am thinking about it. You, Jameson Reed, are one special little boy. You have a heart of gold and it is contagious. We have had a rough few months with the "threenager" phase, but even in the midst of this lovely phase, I just cannot get enough of you.  It is not possible to put into words what you mean to me. I tell you that I love you a handful of times each day. I give you numerous hugs and kisses per day. I take a bazillion pictures and videos of you in an effort to memorialize every minute because you are simply amazing. BUT, even with all of that, it does not fully convey my love and gratitude for you. Until you are a parent yourself (in many, many years!), you will never understand the love of which I am speaking. It is an overwhelming, all consuming, incredible love. It is the kind of love that honestly almost hurts because it is just so powerful. It is simply amazing.

It is crazy how one tiny little human can completely change a person. The second I knew you existed, my world changed. My priorities changed. My friendships changed. All of which was necessary to make sure you were brought into a world where you felt like you were number one. Where you felt safe, secure and most importantly, loved.  I liked my life before you. I had a great life. But, I love my life, now. And, that is because you are in it. I honestly sometimes question how my world turned before you. I know it did, but I feel like you have been a part of me forever. I often look at you and wonder how in the world I had a part in creating something so perfect.

You are funny, so very funny. You make me laugh constantly. We have a blast together and you keep me young. And, you are so smart. It just amazes me how smart you are. Watching your imagination at work is one of my favorite things in the whole world. The things you remember are incredible - you have a mind like a steel trap! The sentences you say are so impressive, sometimes I forget that you are only 3. We definitely have our moments, but you are such a sweetheart and you make my heart whole. Multiple times a day, you tell me, "I love you Mommy" and give me a kiss and a hug. Those moments are what I live for. Those are the moments that make every day so much better. The moments that I will hang onto forever. I love you so much. So very much.

Love being silly with you! 

Ice cream treat after a haircut! 

Cutie pie. 

My baby bear!

It's rare that you fall asleep on me anymore...so, I was enjoying every minute. 

Threenager Hell!

Everyone warned me.  "They" said three was going to be harder than two. I laughed because I kind of thought that since Jameson has always been a bit ahead of the game, maybe he would be better by three. Not so much!  Let me start by saying that this age is amazing. Jameson is adorable and insanely sweet - he will come up to me out of nowhere and wrap his arms around me and tell me how much he loves me. He really is such a sweetheart. And, he is AMAZING with Gwendolyn - the absolute best big brother. And, he says the funniest things. He is always cracking me up. But, he is also very hot and cold. We never know what is going to set him off and when something does set him off, it can be almost like an out of body experience watching him react! Sometimes it is a simple 3 year old tantrum and other times, I feel like he has been taken over by the devil!! I am quite lucky to have a group of March Moms to turn to because apparently this is common among all of our Marchies. So, it's not just our child and that makes me feel better. I am sure one day I will look back on these days and yearn for the toddler tantrums as opposed to the teenage crises. But, I have to admit...I kind of wish we could fast forward a bit. The Terrible Twos seem like a walk in the park compared to this! Now, don't get me wrong, the terrible two tantrums were rough - but, two seconds after an epic tantrum, he was over it and back to being my sweet baby. The three year old tantrums seem to last an eternity.

I think the scariest thing is we just never know what will set him off. I feel like we have to walk on egg shells sometimes because it's just so up in the air what will happen. Hot and cold. Cold and hot. Jekyll and Hyde. The mood swings are insane! If this is a glimpse into how the pre-teen and teen years are going to be, I may run for the hills, now! I picked out the wrong shirt. I flushed the toilet when he wanted to. I didn't cut up his hot dog right. He wanted pasta for dinner, but not THAT kind of pasta. I didn't tuck him in right. UGH! It's a very fine line and Darin and I seem to cross it A LOT!!

Then, we have the attitude. Sometimes it's funny and I have to stifle my laughs. Like when he crossed his arms and huffed out of the room mumbling, "ugh, Daddy is soooo boring!" He actually meant annoying instead of boring, but either way, it was down right hilarious. But, then other times, it's not so funny. Like when we say, "if you finish your sandwich, you can have dessert." His response in a smug little voice - "I don't want dessert." Or, "if you don't stop screaming, we will not be going to the pool." Jameson's response - "I didn't want to go to the pool, anyway." Jameson for the win. He also gives us the silent treatment. Oh, and the dirty look/evil eye. What?? Who is this kid??

Then, there's the negotiating. Good Lord, the negotiating. Everything is to be negotiated. Bedtime, dessert, bath time, playing with friends, playing longer at the park, etc. Every. Single. Thing. And, telling him there is no room for negotiation only makes it worse. I think he should be a lawyer or a politician. Or an actor because of the other dramatics that take place on a daily basis. I call him a little mastermind because I swear the kid has already figured out the key to life!

And, then we have the independence. Everything has to be done by him. God forbid I try to flush the toilet after he is done. Or pick out his undies for the day. We all know I will pick the wrong ones and then the world might just end. But, the best part of this is that when he does try to do something alone and can't seem to get something right, the tears and whining start because "I can't do it!" If we tell him sure he can do it all by himself, the next few minutes look a little like a scene from the Exorcist. But then if we try to step in and help, we sometimes get in trouble because, "no, I can do it!" Ahhhh. We can't win.

We honestly have tried it all over the past 6ish months. We've ignored, we've yelled, we've done time outs, we've taken things away, we've tried to love on him in the middle of a meltdown, etc. We just try to adjust as we go. I try so hard to ignore because I really feel like sometimes this is just the way he "releases." But, man, it is hard to ignore the screaming for any length of time! Plus, when we have a sleeping baby trying to nap, it's hard to let the yelling and screaming carry on. He has this throaty scream that is so piercing. Painful. And, I am sure it can't be real comfortable on his throat! I have told him on more than one screaming occasion that he needs to stop because the neighbors are going to think we are hurting him...it's that loud! Couple that in with whining...and, then tell me how easy it is to ignore! Not so easy.

I really am trying hard to spin everything into a positive rather than a negative. For example, instead of saying, "if you don't finish your apples, you will not get any ice cream", I will say, "if you finish your apples, you can have some ice cream!" But, as mentioned above, sometimes he would rather be a stinker than get the reward. We also started a reward and consequence jar. He started out with a bunch of coins. Throughout the day, he will get more coins for good behavior and get coins taken away for not so good behavior. Once he gets enough coins, he can go to the store and pick out whatever he wants. It started off really great! He saved up enough to get a set of Ninja Turtle Legos. He was super pumped. But, we still have moments where we tell him that we are taking away a coin and he will say, "that's OK." Ugh. But, it's a process and we are learning as we go.

Thankfully though, things actually do seem to be getting better - I started this post quite awhile ago and since then, we have many more good days than bad days, now. Not sure if it's because Darin and I have modified our processes/reactions or if we are slowly phasing out of the threenager phase!! I do think that some of it is attention seeking, but I also truly believe that although he acts much older and can communicate well beyond his three years, he still cannot quite manage his feelings and reactions at that same level. The lethal mix of trying to get attention plus not knowing how to manage feelings typically equals an explosion that can be heard across the neighborhood! The good thing is these meltdowns/tantrums are usually in the comfort of our own home. He is a complete angel when we are out in public and normally never acts out...which is good! I think a lot of that has to do with the time of day/night and how tired he is...sure, we will go with that!

I just remind myself that this phase, too, shall pass! I will try to enjoy the Threenager moments, as I know I will become nostalgic when he is all grown up and rolling his eyes at me for other reasons than because I cut his grilled cheese incorrectly.

Yep. 

On the way to the bank to cash in the coins! 

Cute little devil :). 

Target!! Straight to the Legos.

Ready to go pay! 

Plays with his Legos for hours! 

Last Day of Preschool!

Well, that sure flew by! I swear I was just taking you to your very first day of preschool. Worrying about how you would do and how I would handle it! It turned out to be such a great experience for you. You loved going - you loved your teachers, you loved your classmates and you loved telling us all about it when you got home! I absolutely loved picking you up, too - it was always so fun to have you come running out to the hallway with open arms and a huge smile. Ray and Gma Debbie loved taking and picking you up, too. Ray always called it the "J Train" when he would get to take and pick you up. You always liked when they picked you up...I doubt it had anything to do with the fact that you got to go to the toy store!

I was a little sad for you all because it was raining out and you were supposed to have a little picnic outside that day. And, Mrs. Briggs was sick, so you didn't get to say goodbye to her! But, it still turned out to be a fun morning for you and you had plenty of stories to tell me! It also stopped raining by the time I picked you up, so you were still able to get some good playing in on the playground! Once Spring hit, you loved being able to play on that playground with your friends after school for a bit.

I am so glad we decided to do this. It was so beneficial for you to be able to get out of the house for awhile and be around kids your age. You got to do fun crafts, had music class, got to play in the gym or park and so much more! You were so sad when we told you that it was your last week! But, we know summer will fly by and you will be back before we know it. So, for now, we will enjoy the summer and my Thursdays at home with you and Gwendolyn!

Fun to see what changed from the first day of the year! (First day!)

Some pictures from our morning photo shoot...that included a dance party in the middle!

Seriously, when did you grow up? You are such a handsome boy! 

"Smile for the camera, Jameson!" This is what I get. 

Cheeeeeese

And, let the dancing commence. 

Dance party any time, any where...that's how we roll. 

Hehehe!! 

Man, I love this kid. 

Perfection. 

And, now it looks like I am torturing him. 

So over it. 

My little bean.

He really does love me. 

Just ONE more, Mom. 

Taking pictures of me, now. 

And, now it's time to go to school!

Hanging with Mya! One of your favorites! 

Goodbye hugs for Maddi! You just love Maddi! 

Operation No More Plug!!

I cannot tell you how PROUD I am right now! We have been planting this seed for awhile now and sometimes you would get so excited about the idea, but when bedtime rolled around, you quickly dismissed the idea! You and Daddy started discussing it again last Friday and you got the most excited I have seen, so I really thought maybe this would be it (http://youtu.be/xPcFYGpuPmI). We had a bit of a hard time once bed time came around again - it's just such a drastic change for you, so I understand why you were sad. Overall though, you did so well. I laid on the floor with you for a bit and explained to you how you were such a big and brave boy and that you would be able to do this! It felt a little bit like the show Intervention, but I was willing to do whatever to make sure you would get through this as easily as possible.

After awhile, I had to go feed Gwendolyn, so Daddy took over. He did a great job with getting you excited again about the lollipop plug fairy and your big boy bed.  It was after 10:00 before you finally fell asleep, but once you were asleep, you slept the whole night!! You did such a great job! And, when we went to get you in the morning, you were so very proud of yourself, as were we! We immediately started talking about how we were first going to go get donuts and then go get your big boy bed. And, how we were going to plant your plugs in the backyard. You were so excited and it was such a great sight!

You and I went to get the donuts while Daddy stayed home with Gwendolyn. You think it's pretty cool to see the donuts at Krispy Kreme, so we had a good time watching them get made! We came home and enjoyed them and then hopped in the car to go out to Cooksville (your bed was being stored at Gma and Gpa's house!). You were beyond excited when you saw your bed! Cheering and dancing around (http://youtu.be/hBv3YX2K-k0). We played for awhile and then came home and set up the bed. We ate lunch and then headed outside to bury your plugs for the Lollipop Plug Fairy.  It was a little bittersweet for you - you were excited, but once they were buried, you were a little concerned! But, the excitement of the new bed and the fairy coming made it fairly easy to get you down for a nap (http://youtu.be/zXrjryYHGbo). You were a little sad about not having a plug, but again, overall you did wonderfully!

When you woke up, the first thing we did was run downstairs because Mommy and Daddy got you some gifts for being such a big boy. You got a stuffed Spider-Man, a Spider-Man cartoon series and a Captain America figurine. And, you got an awesome note from the Fairy! You were so excited to go outside and check out the lollipops! There were 4 lollipops and one huge Peep pop! You thought it was pretty cool; however, you kept telling me that they were suckers and not lollipops, haha! But, that didn't stop you from digging into them!

We then decided to get online and let you pick out your new sheets and comforter. You, of course, picked out a Spider-Man comforter and then wanted sheets with a lot of Superheroes, so we ordered some Marvel ones. You said you also wanted Wonder Woman and Catgirl, so I ordered a pillow case for your little pillow with the "girls" on it. Once it came, you wanted nothing to do with it, but we put it under your blue striped one :). You LOVED your bedspread when it came, but you were a little unsure of the sheets, which I was afraid of! The Hulk made you a little nervous, so we had to make sure you knew he was there to protect you. After a few nights, you were good! We are so very proud of you - you are such a good, brave little man!!!!



Update (4/20) : You had a few nights after a few weeks had passed where out of nowhere you asked for your plug. You would then get a little sad, but it was never a meltdown or anything that you didn't quickly get over. Once night when we were snuggling watching Phineas and Ferb, you said, "Mommy, I want my pluuuuuuuuuu" and then started laughing because you caught yourself. We all had a good giggle and you haven't asked for it since then. You also tolerate Gwendolyn having a plug very well. I wasn't sure how that would work, but you understand that she "needs" one.

First night without a plug; last night in your toddler bed. When did you grow up?! 

So proud of that new bed! 

Captured the excitement! 

Getting ready to bury the plugs! 

Pretty exciting! 

Where'd they go?!

Hmm, not so sure about this. 

Bye bye plugs! 

Getting the bed put together! 

Nap time success! 

The gifts from Mommy and Daddy! 

Fairy's note

Lollipops!!! 

Bed time was also a success!

New sheets and bedspread came in the mail!
And, a second Spider-Man! 

LOL - he didn't want to sleep on the Hulk!