Guardian Angel

To say that I am writing this with a heavy heart is a complete understatement. I cannot even begin to put into words what I am feeling right now. Angry would probably be at the top of my list, and that is putting it nicely. I will never even begin to understand why this happened, but I know that for Bean's sake and for my sister and Jeremy, I need to be strong. I think it will be awhile before writing these posts are actually for enjoyment rather than because I feel like I have to keep it up. But, I wanted to write one in honor and memory of my precious niece, Lauren Elizabeth, who as one of Lindsay's friends put it, must have been too sweet for this world.

We all had visions of these two cousins growing up together since they would have been about 6 weeks apart and it is just maddening to know that will not be the case. No one should ever have to go through a tragedy like this. You should never have to hold your baby and say goodbye at the same time. It just makes no sense. However, through all of this, I have found a tiny bit of comfort in knowing that our baby boy will always have a Guardian Angel watching over him.

No words or actions can make this situation any easier or less tragic, but prayers for my sister, Jeremy, Braden and the rest of our families are all we can ask for. My sister is one of the strongest people I know, something she must have gotten from my parents. And, she means more to me than I could ever even express. She has always been my rock, but even more so throughout my pregnancy. Always answering my stupid questions and giving me advice even when I know she had her own pregnancy ailments. This just makes it even more difficult to understand why God let this happen to them and their baby girl, but I can only pray that He gives them strength to somehow get through this and someday find peace.

Precious Lauren, please know that you were loved from the very second we knew about you and you will forever be in our hearts.